Via: Medical Billing And Coding
Sitting on the dock of the dead,
Jeff
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Don't Just Sit There!
This post is a blatant borrow from another website (which gives full permission to use the following infographic) that was shared by my friend Cody on Facebook. I've been thinking about the subject of sitting a lot lately as I realized I'm in a seated position almost all day, so these stats are particularly pertinent to me. I try to remember to get up once an hour and walk around a little, but I'm not always the best at getting off of my butt. As I've started increasing my physical activity levels, I notice that my body actually feels great when we finish up playing, but that after sitting for a couple of hours afterwards, I can barely get out of my chair because my lower back and knees don't seem to want to cooperate. Anyway, this is my cop-out blog post for today because I found these stats to be absolutely terrifying and realize that the way I go about my job may be inadvertently log-jamming my weight loss success and most likely shaving years off of my life. I guess I need to not just sit here and should probably look into busting a move. Enjoy!
Via: Medical Billing And Coding
Sitting on the dock of the dead,
Jeff
Via: Medical Billing And Coding
Sitting on the dock of the dead,
Jeff
Monday, May 9, 2011
Monday 1537: Seinfeldian Wisdom
I have been a huge Seinfeld fan for as long as I can remember. I used to make my family watch it live every Thursday night, and once it hit syndication, I made them sit through two hours of it a day. There was something in the wit and wisdom of each show that spoke to me more than any other TV show could (I'm not claiming Seinfeld for my own since clearly almost everyone else in America felt the same way). I always had a desire to be one of the gang, and I felt like my dry humor and general distaste for everything would have made me a great fifth member in that booth at Monk's. I own every season of Seinfeld on DVD, as well as Curb Your Enthusiasm, which was created by Seinfeld's co-creator and inspiration for George, Larry David. It is a lot like Seinfeld only if Seinfeld was on HBO and had cussing (which it is and does). I've been lucky enough to see Jerry live in Sioux Falls twice, and I'm proud to say that one of those two times the tickets were freebies because of my knowledge of all things Seinfeld (if I remember right, I knew Golden Boy was his favorite shirt, Monk's was the name of the coffee shop, Tweety Bird was the Pez dispenser that Jerry used to make Elaine laugh, Uma Thurman's phone number was on the back of the dry cleaning receipt that got ruined when the moisturizer leaked all over the suit Kramer sold Bania, and that Kramer's first name was Cosmo). So, I decided to turn my love of Seinfeld and Seinfeld quotes into my blog post for the week.
(Disclaimer: It was after I typed this whole post that I remembered that one of my favorite sports bloggers, Bill Simmons, had done something similar to this last week with The Wire. I've been reading Simmons for a long, long time, and his writing clearly influences the way that I write, so I just wanted to give him some credit although I didn't consciously mean to rip off his idea. That is all.)
So, without further ado:
Frank Costanza: I have been performing feats of strength all morning.
No, seriously! I've officially gotten over my hatred for working out, and I've decided to step it up a notch. I finally am starting to get my legs and lungs back because I'm playing basketball a couple of times a week. This weekend I walked to the store to get some groceries and Redbox movies (yeah, the Playstation Network is still down, so I can't use Netflix. This is like week three, and I'm losing patience and faith in Sony). I played Ultimate Frisbee with our Americorps folks and the Math tutors (even though I'd already played basketball that morning and my legs were dead). I'm not exercising five days a week, but I am enjoying the exercise that I am doing. That is so much more crucial to this being a long term success than if I had just started forcing myself on a treadmill. That's the reason that racquetball worked and the 5k didn't when I was in Sheldon. I'm starting to notice the aches and pains lessening, and I really do have more energy throughout the day. This has to be a good thing.
George: What day is today?....Aw. ..Tuesday! Damn it. I shouldn't have worked out today. Mr Wilhem has called a big meeting and now I'm gonna be sweating through the whole thing.
Jerry: Why? You took a shower.
George: Aahhrgh...it wouldn't take! Ten minutes from now, I'll be sweating all over again. I can feel it. I'm a human heat pump!
Kramer: You should take cold showers.
George: Cold showers? They're for psychotics.
Kramer: Well I take 'em! They give me a Whooooosh!
Man, do I feel George's pain here. I don't remember having such issues with this before, but I usually don't completely dry off until I get in my car to go home at the end of the day. I've got a small desktop fan that I keep blowing on my face which seems to be a decent Band-Aid for the problem, but if I have to get up and walk around, BAM!, I'm soaked again. I'm not all stinky and gross (at least I don't think I am), but still, not cool. These showers never take!
Kramer: Boy, these pretzels are makin' me thirsty.
Man, everything is making me thirsty. I feel like I'm never not thirsty. It probably has something to do with the constant sweating all day. I really, really have to watch this because, as I said in a previous post, I am super sensitive to hydration issues. I've already noticed that I'm getting the jimmy legs at night. I always feel like I'm one funny turn from having my entire body cramp up on me. As I type, my thighs are quivering. In fact, the other night I woke up with one of the worst, weirdest cramps I've ever had in my life. It was like it was in the tendon that ran from my toe all the way up my shin. I'm not even sure if I have a tendon there, but whatever it was, it was pulling. My stupid toe was sticking straight up, which is really something since it is on my foot where the toes don't bend. While that leg was busy trying to pop my toe off, my other calf decided it needed to get in on the action. I ended up having to sleep in my recliner for the rest of the night because I didn't trust my legs to stay put in bed. I also get really, really tired and worn out when I start to get dehydrated, and I've noticed certain days where I let that get a little out of hand.
George: I'm 33 years old; I haven't outgrown the problems of puberty, I'm already facing the problems of old age. I completely skipped healthy adulthood. I went from having orgasms immediately, to taking forever. You could do your taxes in the time it takes me to have an orgasm. I never had a normal... medium orgasm.
Jerry: I never had a really good pickle.
This is one of my all-time favorite Seinfeld exchanges. I sympathize with the whole still feeling like I'm in puberty while feeling the effects of old age creeping in. Maybe not in the orgasm thing (No, no, no! I'm solid in that department. Fit as a fiddle. Healthy as a horse...okay, maybe a Shetland pony, but still, solid (I'm immediately embarrassed about that entire last aside knowing that both my mother and grandmother read this, but it came out and I can't take it back because I'm too lazy to delete it)), but definitely in other ways. For instance, if I don't wash my face three times a day, I look like I should be standing over the fryer at McDonald's. From time to time, my voice still breaks. On the flip side, my hip always wants to go out of place. I get heartburn if I eat anything spicier than chicken broth. It takes me about five days to get over a night at the bar. My hair, including my beautiful red beard, is starting to become bright white, which is particularly a problem because I've got short, poofy hair, so the grays stick straight out because they are hard and wirey. I know a lot of the old age symptoms are because of the way I lived my 20's, so I'm hoping I can get some of them reversed so that I can at least have a couple of years where my body and I can get along.
Jerry: I learned something. Letting my emotions out was the best thing that's ever happened to me. Sure, I'm not funny anymore. There's more to life than making shallow, fairly obvious observations.
I'm happy to report that whatever emotional roller coaster I needed to go on to be well, I've officially ridden it and have come out the other side smiling. I want to thank everyone again for all of their love and support over the past couple of months. I know I don't always deal with things the way that everyone else would like to see me deal with them, but some magic combination of emotional breakdowns, isolation, sloppy bar time, deep conversations, and great advice has allowed my heart to heal 1000 times better than my nose did. Oh yeah, I have an enormous scar on my nose which was NOT what the doctor promised me on that blood-soaked night. So, yeah, thanks again to my friends, thanks for nothing to the medical profession.
Jerry: Are you sure you want to get married? I mean, it's a big change of life.
Elaine: Jerry, it's 3 a.m. and I'm at a cock fight. What am I clinging to?
Okay, so maybe I'm not ready to get married right this very second, but in no way have I been burned by the process. If there's one thing I've learned from all of this, it's that the best version of Jeff is the version that is giving love and being loved. As much as I enjoy sitting on my couch in my underwear watching hours of Seinfeld reruns and playing video games or going to a dirty bar and dirty dancing on some dirty girl, it turns out I'm much happier when I'm with someone sharing my smarmy comments about a movie or dirty dancing with them. Although I've dated, I've never really had to "date", if that makes sense. I'm kind of looking forward to it.
George: Jerry, just remember, it's not a lie if you believe it.
Amazingly enough, this is probably the philosophy I most live by. That probably disgusts most of you, but eh, what am I going to do? This general principle is the one that by far makes me the most like George than any of the other characters because I believe that in order to be the best me, it takes a little fibbing. For instance, when I started this project, did I really think I could make it six months and be successful? Of course not! What past proof did I have that I was capable of making this thing work? I was (and at times still am) scared shitless about it. To compensate, I'm overly confident on this blog about my belief in my future success, and after I type it enough, I start to believe it. There is a level of confidence and self-assurance that I have to give to myself. Look at George...he's a short, balding, stocky man who bounces from job to job and is a fairly miserable human being. Somehow, he still is one of the most arrogant, self-assured men in the world who constantly gets the girl. Now look at me...I'm the same guy, only with hair! I really have no reason to be as cocky as I am. Still, no matter how awful the hand I'm dealt or how short my comings might be, I am the best because I believe I'm the best thanks to years of studying George Costanza.
Jerry: Boy, you sure do have a lot of friends, how come I never see any of these people?
Kramer: They want to know how come they never see you.
I talk about all of these great friends of mine, but I NEED to start seeing you people more often. The last time I was in Sioux Falls, other than a pit stop in February, was back in November. The last time I saw my Sheldon friends, other than a tearful pit stop back in February, was last June. The last time I saw some of my Minnesota friends was in January. Hell, I've got some of my best friends who I haven't seen in years. My social calendar will be filled this summer.
Jerry: Golden Boy is always the first shirt I wear out of the laundry, here touch Golden Boy! But see, look at the collar, see it's fraying. Golden Boy is slowly dying. Each wash is brings him one step closer, that's what makes the T-shirt such a tragic figure.
Jeff "Mulva" Pool
(Disclaimer: It was after I typed this whole post that I remembered that one of my favorite sports bloggers, Bill Simmons, had done something similar to this last week with The Wire. I've been reading Simmons for a long, long time, and his writing clearly influences the way that I write, so I just wanted to give him some credit although I didn't consciously mean to rip off his idea. That is all.)
So, without further ado:
Frank Costanza: I have been performing feats of strength all morning.
No, seriously! I've officially gotten over my hatred for working out, and I've decided to step it up a notch. I finally am starting to get my legs and lungs back because I'm playing basketball a couple of times a week. This weekend I walked to the store to get some groceries and Redbox movies (yeah, the Playstation Network is still down, so I can't use Netflix. This is like week three, and I'm losing patience and faith in Sony). I played Ultimate Frisbee with our Americorps folks and the Math tutors (even though I'd already played basketball that morning and my legs were dead). I'm not exercising five days a week, but I am enjoying the exercise that I am doing. That is so much more crucial to this being a long term success than if I had just started forcing myself on a treadmill. That's the reason that racquetball worked and the 5k didn't when I was in Sheldon. I'm starting to notice the aches and pains lessening, and I really do have more energy throughout the day. This has to be a good thing.
George: What day is today?....Aw. ..Tuesday! Damn it. I shouldn't have worked out today. Mr Wilhem has called a big meeting and now I'm gonna be sweating through the whole thing.
Jerry: Why? You took a shower.
George: Aahhrgh...it wouldn't take! Ten minutes from now, I'll be sweating all over again. I can feel it. I'm a human heat pump!
Kramer: You should take cold showers.
George: Cold showers? They're for psychotics.
Kramer: Well I take 'em! They give me a Whooooosh!
Man, do I feel George's pain here. I don't remember having such issues with this before, but I usually don't completely dry off until I get in my car to go home at the end of the day. I've got a small desktop fan that I keep blowing on my face which seems to be a decent Band-Aid for the problem, but if I have to get up and walk around, BAM!, I'm soaked again. I'm not all stinky and gross (at least I don't think I am), but still, not cool. These showers never take!
Kramer: Boy, these pretzels are makin' me thirsty.
Man, everything is making me thirsty. I feel like I'm never not thirsty. It probably has something to do with the constant sweating all day. I really, really have to watch this because, as I said in a previous post, I am super sensitive to hydration issues. I've already noticed that I'm getting the jimmy legs at night. I always feel like I'm one funny turn from having my entire body cramp up on me. As I type, my thighs are quivering. In fact, the other night I woke up with one of the worst, weirdest cramps I've ever had in my life. It was like it was in the tendon that ran from my toe all the way up my shin. I'm not even sure if I have a tendon there, but whatever it was, it was pulling. My stupid toe was sticking straight up, which is really something since it is on my foot where the toes don't bend. While that leg was busy trying to pop my toe off, my other calf decided it needed to get in on the action. I ended up having to sleep in my recliner for the rest of the night because I didn't trust my legs to stay put in bed. I also get really, really tired and worn out when I start to get dehydrated, and I've noticed certain days where I let that get a little out of hand.
George: I'm 33 years old; I haven't outgrown the problems of puberty, I'm already facing the problems of old age. I completely skipped healthy adulthood. I went from having orgasms immediately, to taking forever. You could do your taxes in the time it takes me to have an orgasm. I never had a normal... medium orgasm.
Jerry: I never had a really good pickle.
This is one of my all-time favorite Seinfeld exchanges. I sympathize with the whole still feeling like I'm in puberty while feeling the effects of old age creeping in. Maybe not in the orgasm thing (No, no, no! I'm solid in that department. Fit as a fiddle. Healthy as a horse...okay, maybe a Shetland pony, but still, solid (I'm immediately embarrassed about that entire last aside knowing that both my mother and grandmother read this, but it came out and I can't take it back because I'm too lazy to delete it)), but definitely in other ways. For instance, if I don't wash my face three times a day, I look like I should be standing over the fryer at McDonald's. From time to time, my voice still breaks. On the flip side, my hip always wants to go out of place. I get heartburn if I eat anything spicier than chicken broth. It takes me about five days to get over a night at the bar. My hair, including my beautiful red beard, is starting to become bright white, which is particularly a problem because I've got short, poofy hair, so the grays stick straight out because they are hard and wirey. I know a lot of the old age symptoms are because of the way I lived my 20's, so I'm hoping I can get some of them reversed so that I can at least have a couple of years where my body and I can get along.
Jerry: I learned something. Letting my emotions out was the best thing that's ever happened to me. Sure, I'm not funny anymore. There's more to life than making shallow, fairly obvious observations.
I'm happy to report that whatever emotional roller coaster I needed to go on to be well, I've officially ridden it and have come out the other side smiling. I want to thank everyone again for all of their love and support over the past couple of months. I know I don't always deal with things the way that everyone else would like to see me deal with them, but some magic combination of emotional breakdowns, isolation, sloppy bar time, deep conversations, and great advice has allowed my heart to heal 1000 times better than my nose did. Oh yeah, I have an enormous scar on my nose which was NOT what the doctor promised me on that blood-soaked night. So, yeah, thanks again to my friends, thanks for nothing to the medical profession.
George: Why did it all turn out like this for me? I had so much promise. I was personable, I was bright. Oh, maybe not academically speaking, but ... I was perceptive. I always know when someone's uncomfortable at a party. It became very clear to me sitting out there today, that every decision I've ever made, in my entire life, has been wrong. My life is the opposite of everything I want it to be. Every instinct I have, in every aspect of life, be it something to wear, something to eat ... It's all been wrong.
Jerry: If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right.
George: Yes, I will do the opposite. I used to sit here and do nothing, and regret it for the rest of the day, so now I will do the opposite, and I will do something!
Elaine: Well, there's no telling what can happen from this.
I think that George's theory of doing the opposite was one of the biggest contributing factors to my personal growth in the past couple of months. Friends have heard me say that this is new Jeff who does the complete opposite of what Jeff from 10 years ago would have done. Instead of tuna on toast, I'm ordering chicken salad on rye, untoasted, with a side of potato salad and a cup of tea! It is as much a "Yes Man" theory as anything else. When an opportunity presents itself, I don't let myself say no anymore. Did I want to play basketball? No, but I did and now it is one of the highlights of my day. Did I want to get back into the dating world? I was a little scared, but I took the first step and haven't regretted a single minute of it. Do I want to hang out after work? I'm a hermit at heart, but I did it and I've gained such fantastic new friends from the process. I'm out there, everybody, and I'm loving every minute of it!Jerry: Are you sure you want to get married? I mean, it's a big change of life.
Elaine: Jerry, it's 3 a.m. and I'm at a cock fight. What am I clinging to?
Okay, so maybe I'm not ready to get married right this very second, but in no way have I been burned by the process. If there's one thing I've learned from all of this, it's that the best version of Jeff is the version that is giving love and being loved. As much as I enjoy sitting on my couch in my underwear watching hours of Seinfeld reruns and playing video games or going to a dirty bar and dirty dancing on some dirty girl, it turns out I'm much happier when I'm with someone sharing my smarmy comments about a movie or dirty dancing with them. Although I've dated, I've never really had to "date", if that makes sense. I'm kind of looking forward to it.
George: Jerry, just remember, it's not a lie if you believe it.
Amazingly enough, this is probably the philosophy I most live by. That probably disgusts most of you, but eh, what am I going to do? This general principle is the one that by far makes me the most like George than any of the other characters because I believe that in order to be the best me, it takes a little fibbing. For instance, when I started this project, did I really think I could make it six months and be successful? Of course not! What past proof did I have that I was capable of making this thing work? I was (and at times still am) scared shitless about it. To compensate, I'm overly confident on this blog about my belief in my future success, and after I type it enough, I start to believe it. There is a level of confidence and self-assurance that I have to give to myself. Look at George...he's a short, balding, stocky man who bounces from job to job and is a fairly miserable human being. Somehow, he still is one of the most arrogant, self-assured men in the world who constantly gets the girl. Now look at me...I'm the same guy, only with hair! I really have no reason to be as cocky as I am. Still, no matter how awful the hand I'm dealt or how short my comings might be, I am the best because I believe I'm the best thanks to years of studying George Costanza.
Jerry: Boy, you sure do have a lot of friends, how come I never see any of these people?
Kramer: They want to know how come they never see you.
I talk about all of these great friends of mine, but I NEED to start seeing you people more often. The last time I was in Sioux Falls, other than a pit stop in February, was back in November. The last time I saw my Sheldon friends, other than a tearful pit stop back in February, was last June. The last time I saw some of my Minnesota friends was in January. Hell, I've got some of my best friends who I haven't seen in years. My social calendar will be filled this summer.
Jerry: Golden Boy is always the first shirt I wear out of the laundry, here touch Golden Boy! But see, look at the collar, see it's fraying. Golden Boy is slowly dying. Each wash is brings him one step closer, that's what makes the T-shirt such a tragic figure.
Elaine: Why don't you just let Golden Boy soak in the sink with some Woolight?
Jerry: No!!! The reason he's iron man is because he goes out there and plays every game. Wash!!! Spin!!! Rinse!!! Spin!!! You take that away from him, you break his spirit!
I am a creature of habit when it comes to clothes. For as many clothes as I own, I often end up wearing the exact same outfits over and over again. I've owned the same pair of shoes since I started my professional career. Well, not the same pair, but the same exact make and model. When I find something that I like that I think makes me look good, I usually ride it into the ground. I'm currently dealing with the fact that some of my favorites need to be laid to rest. My parents were nice enough to buy me a new pair of brown loafers since the bottoms of my other ones had completely worn through. My favorite Gap khakis have a weird bright spot on them that I think probably came from bleach being left in the washer from the person before me (stupid communal laundry). My favorite shirt that makes me look skinny and sexy suffered from a drunken fight with some Taco Bell that resulted in a stain that I can't seem to get out. My favorite cardigan is starting to fall apart at the seams because I wear it so much. And the kicker is that because I'm losing weight, I'm starting to notice that nothing fits very well. I've sworn I wouldn't go buy a pair of shorts until I was at least back in the 30's for pants. When I went out to the store yesterday to buy a strap for my glasses for when we play basketball (easy ladies, try not to get too excited), I officially wore a pair of 38 jeans. I'm starting to get hot in my apartment wearing pants all the time, so it might be time for a shopping spree. Speaking of losing weight...
Gary Fogel: Good for you, Jack!
In case you were wondering who the great Gary Fogel is, I refer you to this clip:
I'm pretty proud of myself because the downward trend continues on. I ate out almost every single day last week, but because I added a couple of days of basketball to the rotation, I'm proud to present:
That makes a total loss of 10.6 lbs., over a third of my overall goal of 30 lbs. in just the first month. I know the first month is always the easiest, but I'm encouraged by my ability to take baby steps that have shown consistent results. This past weekend was one of the first ones since The Challenge began where I stayed home and didn't just destroy everything I'd done up until this point. I did go a little crazier than I had hoped on Friday after I weighed in, but I'm going to try to string together six solid days of effort that involve both exercise and no eating out. I'm headed to Blunt next weekend, and I would love to be able to give my mom the Mother's Day/birthday gift of having another good week. I'm hoping to get a mid-week check, so hopefully you'll know how it is going before then. Until then...
Still master of my domain,
Monday, May 2, 2011
Monday 1536: We Are Family
Last Friday's weigh in came on the heels of by far the toughest weekend The Challenge has seen so far. Easter weekend set me back about five pounds at one point, so I went into last Monday praying for another Easter miracle that would let me get somewhere near the 266.8 that I came in at on Good Friday. I believe last Monday I reported gaining a little over two pounds and weighing in at 269 after the tough weekend, which meant that I had five days to drop about three pounds. Here was the result from this past Friday's weigh-in:
That's right, baby! 265 on the nose, a total of another 1.8 pounds from the week before, and down about four pounds from the weekend craziness. Of all of the weeks of the challenge, I'm most proud of this one because I really did dig in and put up a fight last week to try to right the ship. I'd say I probably went at 75% of my capability, which is saying something since I usually hover right around that 55-60% mark. I worked out (once, but it still is a small victory), brought my own food to work, got up early and made smoothies, and ate somewhere in the neighborhood of 84 clementines. I proved to myself that I could put together a strong five day run and persevere.
I celebrated my small victory in the way that I have every other week; I went out and did my best to undo every positive step forward that I made. I know what my ultimate goal is, though, and I'm not going to get down on myself for having a social life. Did I eat and drink a little too much? Maybe, but only if you use "little" in the same way as, say, the Twins are having a little trouble winning or that Brett Favre has a little bit of an ego problem. Regardless, the arrow is still pointing downwards and I'm still well on my way to my six-month, 30 pound goal.
What I really wanted to mention in this blog was how great I am in the friends' families department. I hope I've made it clear that I have fantastic friends and a fantastic family, but this blog specifically is a thank you to friends' families. It has always been important to me to get to know the important people in the lives of those who are important to me. Maybe I'm delusional and I'm really the Eddie Haskell who everyone wishes would go away, but I really feel like I have formed some deep connections with these folks over the years. When I left home to go to college for the first time, I was pretty emotionally rocked. I was convinced that as soon as I left Hartford that my friendships would never be the same. For me, I wasn't just choosing to leave the town or the state to go off into the scary world of Southwest Minnesota, but I was also leaving the "group" and going off on my own. Granted, I still was on Messenger every night with my friends (this was pre-texting) and I came home most weekends to see my family and girlfriend (probably not in that order), but I felt like I was leaving a "family" that I had worked so hard to build over the years. I actually went house to house to say good-bye, not to my friends, but to their families. Any of them can attest that I was a mess as I went to each of their doors with tears in my eyes to give them a hug, thank them for taking such good care of me, and for welcoming me into their homes and families over the years. Just as my parents had done for my friends, these people had on more than one occasion fed me, given me a ride to school on a snowy day, let me sleep on their couch, bandaged me up when I fell off my bike, and showed up to support me in all of my different activities, even when they didn't have a kid participating.
I was lucky enough to leave one group of friends who had wonderful families to find another group in college. In high school, our parents were kind of stuck having to like (or at least tolerate) our friends because we were constantly around and had been since we were little kids. They watched us grow, understood our personalities, and did their best to love us anyway. College parents are a different story. College parents encounter their kid's friends maybe once a year. If you hate your kid's friends, then you don't invite them to breakfast the next time you come to town to visit and there are no hard feelings. Well, I again hit the friend jackpot and managed to surround myself with good people who came from good people. I rarely turned down an opportunity to meet a sibling that was in town or to go home with someone to spend a weekend with their parents. I'm always fascinated with how someone's upbringing shapes them into the person that they are, so I want to know as much about why my friends turned out the way they did. Meeting and bonding with their families gives me insight into the first couple of decades of their lives that I missed out on.
I bring all of this up because I just spent a wonderful weekend with the families of two of my closest friends who treated me at every single moment like I was a member of their clans. In both my best and my worst moments, they took care of me and reminded me why it is so important to have these extended relationships. They wanted to know all about The Challenge, pledged to the cause, and promised that they would there to celebrate with me when it was all said and done. We danced. We laughed. We told stories about the good times and made plans to have even more in the future. For one day, we were a family reunited in Fargo, and I offer many thanks to the Malsams and Leendertses for reminding me how great being a part of your families really is.
I use this weekend as a specific example, but the same can be true of the way I've seen one friend's family rally around him as he's had some health issues or how another friend's family took me in just weekends after my February disaster and did their best to take my mind off of my troubles. I'm Facebook friends with moms, dads, brothers, and sisters of my friends, and I'm proud to be able to call them "friend" outside of the Facebook context. There are so many other examples from both high school and college that I wouldn't even know where to start listing them. Just know that today I sit at this keyboard, game planning how I'm going to have a strong week, and thanking my lucky stars that I am a member of the greatest families in the world.
With much love,
Jeff
That's right, baby! 265 on the nose, a total of another 1.8 pounds from the week before, and down about four pounds from the weekend craziness. Of all of the weeks of the challenge, I'm most proud of this one because I really did dig in and put up a fight last week to try to right the ship. I'd say I probably went at 75% of my capability, which is saying something since I usually hover right around that 55-60% mark. I worked out (once, but it still is a small victory), brought my own food to work, got up early and made smoothies, and ate somewhere in the neighborhood of 84 clementines. I proved to myself that I could put together a strong five day run and persevere.
I celebrated my small victory in the way that I have every other week; I went out and did my best to undo every positive step forward that I made. I know what my ultimate goal is, though, and I'm not going to get down on myself for having a social life. Did I eat and drink a little too much? Maybe, but only if you use "little" in the same way as, say, the Twins are having a little trouble winning or that Brett Favre has a little bit of an ego problem. Regardless, the arrow is still pointing downwards and I'm still well on my way to my six-month, 30 pound goal.
What I really wanted to mention in this blog was how great I am in the friends' families department. I hope I've made it clear that I have fantastic friends and a fantastic family, but this blog specifically is a thank you to friends' families. It has always been important to me to get to know the important people in the lives of those who are important to me. Maybe I'm delusional and I'm really the Eddie Haskell who everyone wishes would go away, but I really feel like I have formed some deep connections with these folks over the years. When I left home to go to college for the first time, I was pretty emotionally rocked. I was convinced that as soon as I left Hartford that my friendships would never be the same. For me, I wasn't just choosing to leave the town or the state to go off into the scary world of Southwest Minnesota, but I was also leaving the "group" and going off on my own. Granted, I still was on Messenger every night with my friends (this was pre-texting) and I came home most weekends to see my family and girlfriend (probably not in that order), but I felt like I was leaving a "family" that I had worked so hard to build over the years. I actually went house to house to say good-bye, not to my friends, but to their families. Any of them can attest that I was a mess as I went to each of their doors with tears in my eyes to give them a hug, thank them for taking such good care of me, and for welcoming me into their homes and families over the years. Just as my parents had done for my friends, these people had on more than one occasion fed me, given me a ride to school on a snowy day, let me sleep on their couch, bandaged me up when I fell off my bike, and showed up to support me in all of my different activities, even when they didn't have a kid participating.
I was lucky enough to leave one group of friends who had wonderful families to find another group in college. In high school, our parents were kind of stuck having to like (or at least tolerate) our friends because we were constantly around and had been since we were little kids. They watched us grow, understood our personalities, and did their best to love us anyway. College parents are a different story. College parents encounter their kid's friends maybe once a year. If you hate your kid's friends, then you don't invite them to breakfast the next time you come to town to visit and there are no hard feelings. Well, I again hit the friend jackpot and managed to surround myself with good people who came from good people. I rarely turned down an opportunity to meet a sibling that was in town or to go home with someone to spend a weekend with their parents. I'm always fascinated with how someone's upbringing shapes them into the person that they are, so I want to know as much about why my friends turned out the way they did. Meeting and bonding with their families gives me insight into the first couple of decades of their lives that I missed out on.
I bring all of this up because I just spent a wonderful weekend with the families of two of my closest friends who treated me at every single moment like I was a member of their clans. In both my best and my worst moments, they took care of me and reminded me why it is so important to have these extended relationships. They wanted to know all about The Challenge, pledged to the cause, and promised that they would there to celebrate with me when it was all said and done. We danced. We laughed. We told stories about the good times and made plans to have even more in the future. For one day, we were a family reunited in Fargo, and I offer many thanks to the Malsams and Leendertses for reminding me how great being a part of your families really is.
I use this weekend as a specific example, but the same can be true of the way I've seen one friend's family rally around him as he's had some health issues or how another friend's family took me in just weekends after my February disaster and did their best to take my mind off of my troubles. I'm Facebook friends with moms, dads, brothers, and sisters of my friends, and I'm proud to be able to call them "friend" outside of the Facebook context. There are so many other examples from both high school and college that I wouldn't even know where to start listing them. Just know that today I sit at this keyboard, game planning how I'm going to have a strong week, and thanking my lucky stars that I am a member of the greatest families in the world.
With much love,
Jeff
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Basketball Diaries
I played pick-up basketball today with my co-workers, and it went about as well as you might imagine that it would. The last time I hung up my sneakers, I seem to remember myself looking something like this:
Somewhere in the past seven years of inactivity, I somehow managed to morph into this:
(Which, by the way, is totally unfair because this guy is 73-years old in this picture and managed to make a college basketball roster. Here's more from the newsroom: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QvkmqbgUU_E&feature=player_embedded.)
Anyway, besides giving me the gift of an enormous basketball scoreboard that is bringing back fond memories of my better years, my parents also gave me the gift of hope in the form of a new pair of basketball shoes. I have been looking for every excuse in the book to not make myself get back out there, and my friends and family are doing everything they can to smash those hurdles down. I figured I owed it to everyone to get back out there and give it the old college try. We played 2-on-2 again, which meant that one poor soul was saddled with 268 lbs of dead weight. I think I mentioned this in a previous post, but the most frustrating thing about trying to come back is knowing that my mind still thinks like a guy who has never stopped playing while my body acts like a guy who has been dead for three years. I don't have the lungs for the constant movement, I don't have the knees for the drives, cuts, and stops that I used to thrive on, and I don't have the coordination to be able to do things that used to be automatic. When I post up (a spot I'm so much more comfortable at, mostly because it just involves standing and leaning), I still remember what to do, but when I go up for easy shots, it is like my hands can't figure out if we're doing a jump shot or a lay-up. Have you ever seen someone block himself when he was shooting? I'm almost pretty sure that I did that three times today.
I'm only going to get better with repetition and time, but of course this happens to be the week where I have something going on every other day over the lunch hour. Still, I had way more fun today than I did a couple of weeks ago when I only made it 18 minutes. Today I made it a full 42 and lasted for three games. Granted, this is half court ball, so all bets are off when we get more guys and have to start running up and down the court. I can only imagine what kind of shape I'll be in on afternoons where we go full court since today I played, showered, dried off, went back to my desk, and was absolutely soaked by the time I logged back in to my computer. Investing in a small fan for that after workout moisture is going to be a necessity. With that said, I've got a new pair of kicks, a big ol' scoreboard reminding me there's a champion somewhere deep inside of me, and fantastic (and patient) friends and family who won't let me quit. I may not ever get back to my glory days, but to paraphrase the words of America's finest poet, Sir Toby Keith, I'm not as good as I once was, but I can only hope to be as good once as I ever was.
In the meantime, I will continue trying to go from this:
...into that...
...without ever going back to this.
Finally deciding to "Shoot it, fat boy!",
Stiles Pool
Monday, April 25, 2011
Monday 1535: Easter Ponies and Scoreboards
Welcome to Week 2 of The Challenge! Let's start with the initial business at hand.
So, a Week 2 weight loss of a little under a pound. Disappointing but not disheartening. In my head, I had set an original goal of 30 lbs. over the six month period, so I needed to average about 5 lbs. per month. I'm still well ahead of my first month goal in the first two weeks of The Challenge with a total loss of about 8 pounds, so I'll take it. I also weighed in Friday morning when I was coming off of about four hours of sleep with a belly full of pizza, fries, and beer from a long work week celebration with some co-workers. I'd like to think that had I not indulged the night before, I probably would have been down to around 249. That seems totally reasonable.
Anyway, I decided that overdoing it Thursday night just wasn't enough, so I went about doing what I could to gain some weight this weekend, too. Since the excuse train is running full-throttle, let's throw on another one. My family came up to visit, so I decided I'd cook supper and breakfast for them, and then we went out Saturday night at ate our weight in German meats at Gasthof zur Gemutlichkeit. When a restaurant has been featured on Man vs. Food, it probably isn't the best for the diet plan. It didn't matter, though. We had such a good time drinking beer and cider, eating meat until I started getting a sinus headache, raising our glasses for birthday toasts for everyone in the place, singing along with a man playing an accordion wearing lederhosen, taking the complimentary apple schnapps shot at the end of the meal, and even inhaling spearmint snuff through our noses to wash it all down. I'm pretty sure we wouldn't have had as much fun at the Tofu Hut.
Please know that I am in no way blaming my family or friends for my decisions, successes, and failures. I need to be mentally healthy in order to make it through this, and being able to go out and have fun once in awhile will help me stay on the right track long term, even at the sacrifice of a big result on Fridays. Anyway, I jumped on the scale this morning just to check the damage, and even with a big breakfast at IHOP (which does not stand for Impressively Healthy Organic Platefuls) yesterday morning, I had only gone back up to 269. Other good news: I dropped two full belt sizes in the past two weeks and people who don't know about The Challenge are commenting on how noticeable my efforts are. That's more than enough to get me back on the horse and to keep blasting my way to October.
In other news, I am now a degenerate pony gambler and I have an enormous scoreboard in the middle of my living room. First the horses. To put it lightly, my mom has never met a blackjack table that she didn't like. She's not an addict or anything, but if we are in a casino, she's at a blackjack table. I decided to take my parents to Running Aces Casino on Saturday night because I was afraid that if we didn't go do an activity we'd just end up eating again. My sister went to a movie with a "friend" (cough, cough), so we headed up north.so my mom could get her cards fix and my dad and I could sit at the bar and watch sports. Running Aces also happens to have horse race betting, so my dad decided he'd teach me how to bet the ponies. After a couple of races, I officially had a scientific method of picking the winner and the second place horse. The general idea was to always pick the horse with a girl's name in a possessive format (Rachel's Dream, Annie's Glory, Sophie's Choice) and the horse with the most intimidating cool abstract name (Axion, Scoozi, Mitsubishi). Sometimes there was a car on the track that served as the starting gate, and betting on the Buick was also a safe choice. We did pretty well making $2 bets on each race, and if you don't count the cost of the beer we drank (which is usually the only place I put down money at the casino because I consider a beer for $3 to be a win every time), we actually came out ahead on the night. If I'm forced to go to another casino, I think I've found my calling.
Next up, the gigantic scoreboard. Perhaps you remember the tale of the Sensational Seven, a rag-tag group of teenagers who bonded over the years and came together to win the Sioux Falls city Hi-Y league at the YMCA back in the spring of 2009. If you are a Facebook friend of mine, you also know that right after the blog post was made one of my old teammates found the ORIGINAL scoreboards that were used in the YMCA in the Zip Foods gym during our championship run. I posted the link to the scoreboards on Craigslist and made a statement about how it would be the ultimate gift for me. Brent called on those scoreboards, and I was informed that they officially were gone. Oh well, life sucks sometimes. Well, when my family arrived Friday night I saw my dad walking off steps in my house like he was measuring something. It had started to rain, so my mom decided we needed to go down and get my gift out of the back of the truck before it was ruined.
Before we go too much further, let me tell you about my apartment. It is not a big space, and I have it arranged in a way that befits a nearly 30 year old bachelor. It is adult with just the right amount of fun to make it look like I'm not trying too hard. I also have a genetic predisposition to collecting random junk, so I have to fight that very hard because it is very easy to let it take control. If you don't believe me, look in my car.
Okay, back to the story. We went downstairs in the rain to fetch my gift out of the back of the truck. The thing six feet long, four feet high, and weighed 900 lbs. I live on the second floor of my apartment complex, so we worked to get it inside and up the stairs. In the process I lost about 4 square inches of skin, bruised my ankle bone, and either pulled my groin or suffered a hernia. We got it in and got it in a place where we could close the apartment door. My best guess was that it was either a really tall entertainment center or a fake fireplace. Either way, it was huge. So, I unwrapped the plastic and saw this:
The ultimate gift framed in a tree's worth of lumber. I was awestruck. On one hand, this was the single coolest thing I've ever been given. It is an authentic relic from one of my most cherished period of my life. It is amazing. On the other hand, it is enormous! Evidently my brain somehow had shrunk the size of the scoreboards over the years. The gyms we played in had 80 foot ceilings which clearly threw off my ability to accurately measure how big these were, and the dimensions of 4' x 6' on Craigslist clearly didn't register. I had the same problem a few years back when I paid $60 for a Three Stooges beer sign that I assumed was a portrait size and ended up being about the size of a large postcard. Measurements clearly aren't my thing.
Anyway, if you come to visit me, expect to be welcomed by a fully functional scoreboard as you walk in the door. Someday when I have a house and a room dedicated to my childhood glory, this thing will be the centerpiece that will have everyone talking. Until then, it is a really, really big place to set my keys. Still, I'm pretty blessed to have a great family that would be thoughtful enough to buy it, frame it, and haul it all the way to Minnesota, and I can't wait to get the Sensational Seven up here to sign the frame. Maybe we can even watch some old game tape while wearing our championship T-shirts.
I hope you had as great of an Easter weekend as I did. If you're like me, you hid your eggs last Monday and still haven't found them all! Thanks again for your continued support, and it is never too late to make a pledge towards my health for the American Heart Association!
Scoring from home,
Jeff
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Monday 1534: You Want 10 Truths?! You Can't Handle 10 Truths!
(I know this "Monday" is technically a Tuesday, but my real Monday went all Garfield on me and didn't leave me with the mental energy to put this out there. Please cope.)
1. I Had a GREAT First Week
I won't tease you and make you read to the very end of the post to find out how I did. Remember, my starting weight was 274.2 on Friday, April 8. As of Friday, April 15, I am currently clocking in at:
267.4! I'll take a one week loss of 6.8 pounds. I know the first week is always one of the easiest, but just like back in November, I'm going to cling to even the most inflated victories. Let's also not forget that when I started this whole ordeal back in November I was at 289, so that's a 22 pound total loss that has been somewhat maintained for six months. While it isn't the end result I'm shooting for, it is enough to remind me that I can keep going and succeed. For those of you keeping track at home, that's $87.50 total donated to the American Heart Association after Week 1 of The Challenge.
2. Limiting Fast Food Was Phase 1
I wish I could say I did something miraculous, but I literally just didn't eat out as much. I say as much because I didn't even manage to cut out eating out altogether. The difference was that when I did stop at McDonald's for breakfast, I went with the oatmeal (it is really, really good) and a medium black coffee. I still had a couple of weird binging moments on both weekends, but the good outweighed the bad. I'm still big enough that screw-ups don't completely derail the weekly results, but that is a crutch I need to get rid of soon.
3. Adding Light Exercise Is Phase 2
I'm almost positive that I've mentioned how much I hate working out. I decided this weekend that I really wanted Subway, but the only way I was going to allow myself the pleasure was if I walked to Subway to get my food. It seemed pretty simple, but when I got back home with my sandwiches I wasn't as happy as I should have been with my decision. The following sentences are going to sound like a completely spoiled fat kid who has clearly grown up in America, but it is what I was thinking, so I'm sharing regardless of how whiny and privileged it makes me sound. I have some major hang-ups about walking for the sake of walking. The biggest one is that when I see a guy walking by himself somewhere, I immediately think, "I wonder if he got a DUI or if his car got repo'ed?" You just don't see single men walking around by themselves all that often. If it is women in sweatpants or a couple pushing a stroller, well, clearly they are trying to get healthier. But dudes out walking around? There's something inherently creepy about that to me. I don't enjoy walking just to get outside, enjoy the fresh air, and clear my head. I can open windows and sleep to get those things accomplished. I might walk if I had a purpose (other than health), but if there was really a purpose like needing to get somewhere, why wouldn't I just hop in my car and get there five times as fast without all the smelling like a locker room nonsense? I walked a couple of times in Sheldon because there was a group of people that did it, but never alone. So, I'm still working on implementing a Phase 2 that involves some form of exercise that will just help push my weight loss progress along. If I can get down under 260, I think I'll be ready to step it up to something a little more heavy duty (please do not read that sentence as "running for the sake of running" because I understand that even less than the walking nonsense).
4. There Are Some Advantages to Not Having Cable
I'm still rocking the bunny ears and a Netflix subscription, which have allowed me to enjoy the following perks:
5. I Never Stopped Believing
Back in the summer of 2009, I went to the third greatest concert I'd ever been to and arguably the most fun. A group of my buddies got together and shared the experience of Journey live in concert. To make it all that much better, they had Night Ranger (for you kids out there, they sang "Sister Christian") opening for them. We stood through almost the entire concert and sang along with every song we knew. When they tried to get fancy and play new stuff, we, along with everyone else in the Arena, ran to the local beer stand to refill our fun tanks. It was an absolute blast.
You can imagine my surprise when I found out that Journey and Night Ranger were back out on tour again and would be making a stop in St. Paul. This news alone was enough to get me excited, but then I found out that Foreigner would be joining them this time around. Ladies and gentlemen, I dare you to find a better combination of 70's/80's hair band, pop rock, anthem-style awesomeness. I immediately bought six tickets so that I can share the experience again with friends. I have one additional ticket spoken for by my rock n' roll aunt, but if you're interested in joining us let me know. Supplies are limited. Some restrictions may apply. Offer not valid in New Hampshire, Rhode Island, or Alaska.
6. My New Rice Cooker Is a Miracle Worker
My friend Zach gets the shout out of the week for turning me on to the miracle of the rice steamer. For $15, I get to come home every night, throw some rice and water in a pot, throw some veggies on top in the steamer basket, throw in the meat of my choice, and enjoy a tasty and nutritious dinner in about 20 minutes with almost zero effort on my part. How did I not have one of these before?! This thing, in combination with my George Foreman Grill, are easily the two most essential appliances I own. Those microwaveable steamer bags are still handy to have around when I'm in a real time crunch, but it is hard to trade off the fresh vegetables.
7. All Frozen Treats Are Not Created Equal
Over the past couple of weeks, I've found myself craving ice cream more and more. After peeing on a stick, I realized that this craving was not directly linked to an impending pregnancy. Whew! That was a close one. In particular, I'm drawn to Ben & Jerry and all of their delicious creations. As I started this diet, I figured I needed something in the freezer that would help keep this craving under control without allowing me to get out of control. Enter Ben & Jerry's FroYo. I figured that the Half Baked (half brownie, half chocolate chip cookie dough) FroYo (for those of you who are uneducated in frozen food delicacies, it stands for frozen yogurt) might be the answer. With its lower calories and lower fat than the original, I thought maybe having it around would be less harmful than having the real deal. However, FroYo is not IcCre. The real deal is so rich and creamy and chocolaty and delicious. The fake stuff tastes like frozen milk. I suppose it is better this way because I'll be less tempted to sit down and eat the whole container at once, a feat that I used to perform with some regularity with the ice cream version. I know, I know, having sweets around is flirting with disaster. But if a spoonful of FroYo helps the medicine of weight loss go down, then I guess I'll keep it around.
8. The Keys to My Success
Here are a few of the products that I've found to be helpful:
9. The Race was Neck and Neck!
That is, the race to find either the love of my life or a new couch on the Internet. The couch won, and it took me exactly 14 hours and 27 minutes before I bled on it. I shouldn't be allowed to have nice things. In hindsight, the other objective probably would have been more beneficial to my overall mission of a better me, but this couch really is nice and will allow me to have people come over to visit. Also, I don't have to buy it breakfast in the morning after laying on it all night. Hey-oh!
10. Heart Disease Accounts for Nearly 40% of All Deaths in the United States
So, if you haven't already and would like to, do your part and pledge your support as I try to not be another one of those statistics. 100% of the proceeds go to the American Heart Association. If you'd like to pledge, feel free to reply below or e-mail me at jeffpool81@hotmail.com. I haven't given up my dream of donating $1,500, but at my current pledge rate I need to lose 120 lbs. That's a tough row to hoe.
Disappearing before your eyes,
Jeff
1. I Had a GREAT First Week
I won't tease you and make you read to the very end of the post to find out how I did. Remember, my starting weight was 274.2 on Friday, April 8. As of Friday, April 15, I am currently clocking in at:
267.4! I'll take a one week loss of 6.8 pounds. I know the first week is always one of the easiest, but just like back in November, I'm going to cling to even the most inflated victories. Let's also not forget that when I started this whole ordeal back in November I was at 289, so that's a 22 pound total loss that has been somewhat maintained for six months. While it isn't the end result I'm shooting for, it is enough to remind me that I can keep going and succeed. For those of you keeping track at home, that's $87.50 total donated to the American Heart Association after Week 1 of The Challenge.
2. Limiting Fast Food Was Phase 1
I wish I could say I did something miraculous, but I literally just didn't eat out as much. I say as much because I didn't even manage to cut out eating out altogether. The difference was that when I did stop at McDonald's for breakfast, I went with the oatmeal (it is really, really good) and a medium black coffee. I still had a couple of weird binging moments on both weekends, but the good outweighed the bad. I'm still big enough that screw-ups don't completely derail the weekly results, but that is a crutch I need to get rid of soon.
3. Adding Light Exercise Is Phase 2
I'm almost positive that I've mentioned how much I hate working out. I decided this weekend that I really wanted Subway, but the only way I was going to allow myself the pleasure was if I walked to Subway to get my food. It seemed pretty simple, but when I got back home with my sandwiches I wasn't as happy as I should have been with my decision. The following sentences are going to sound like a completely spoiled fat kid who has clearly grown up in America, but it is what I was thinking, so I'm sharing regardless of how whiny and privileged it makes me sound. I have some major hang-ups about walking for the sake of walking. The biggest one is that when I see a guy walking by himself somewhere, I immediately think, "I wonder if he got a DUI or if his car got repo'ed?" You just don't see single men walking around by themselves all that often. If it is women in sweatpants or a couple pushing a stroller, well, clearly they are trying to get healthier. But dudes out walking around? There's something inherently creepy about that to me. I don't enjoy walking just to get outside, enjoy the fresh air, and clear my head. I can open windows and sleep to get those things accomplished. I might walk if I had a purpose (other than health), but if there was really a purpose like needing to get somewhere, why wouldn't I just hop in my car and get there five times as fast without all the smelling like a locker room nonsense? I walked a couple of times in Sheldon because there was a group of people that did it, but never alone. So, I'm still working on implementing a Phase 2 that involves some form of exercise that will just help push my weight loss progress along. If I can get down under 260, I think I'll be ready to step it up to something a little more heavy duty (please do not read that sentence as "running for the sake of running" because I understand that even less than the walking nonsense).
4. There Are Some Advantages to Not Having Cable
I'm still rocking the bunny ears and a Netflix subscription, which have allowed me to enjoy the following perks:
- I don't have to watch the Twins lose on a regular basis. C'mon fellas! Pull it together!
- I've never seen an episode of Jersey Shore, which makes me feel like I'm a better person.
- I've been able to watch some of the most amazing movies/documentaries/TV shows that I never would have found otherwise.
- I'm not a slave to having 5,000 shows to watch anymore. I used to have 4:30-11 pm every single night of the week blocked out for my shows. Now I regularly watch Modern Family and The Office. The freedom is amazing.
- I figured out how to stream YouTube videos directly to the big screen, so I can now watch wrestling matches from the 80's and 90's whenever I please. It's still real to me, dammit!
- I've also seen some really, really, epically awful movies, too, including every Nic Cage movie ever made. I have a weird obsession with Nic Cage movies. If you've never tried this before, go into a really, really bad movie with zero expectations for greatness, and then sit back and enjoy the awfulness involved. Also, while you are doing this, remember that this movie cost more to make than you'll earn in your entire lifetime. I would encourage you to have a cold beverage in hand as you make all of these realizations. Even in Nic Cage's best movies he was bat-shit crazy, and I guess I admire his dedication to his crazy craft. Also, he won an Oscar.
5. I Never Stopped Believing
Back in the summer of 2009, I went to the third greatest concert I'd ever been to and arguably the most fun. A group of my buddies got together and shared the experience of Journey live in concert. To make it all that much better, they had Night Ranger (for you kids out there, they sang "Sister Christian") opening for them. We stood through almost the entire concert and sang along with every song we knew. When they tried to get fancy and play new stuff, we, along with everyone else in the Arena, ran to the local beer stand to refill our fun tanks. It was an absolute blast.
You can imagine my surprise when I found out that Journey and Night Ranger were back out on tour again and would be making a stop in St. Paul. This news alone was enough to get me excited, but then I found out that Foreigner would be joining them this time around. Ladies and gentlemen, I dare you to find a better combination of 70's/80's hair band, pop rock, anthem-style awesomeness. I immediately bought six tickets so that I can share the experience again with friends. I have one additional ticket spoken for by my rock n' roll aunt, but if you're interested in joining us let me know. Supplies are limited. Some restrictions may apply. Offer not valid in New Hampshire, Rhode Island, or Alaska.
6. My New Rice Cooker Is a Miracle Worker
My friend Zach gets the shout out of the week for turning me on to the miracle of the rice steamer. For $15, I get to come home every night, throw some rice and water in a pot, throw some veggies on top in the steamer basket, throw in the meat of my choice, and enjoy a tasty and nutritious dinner in about 20 minutes with almost zero effort on my part. How did I not have one of these before?! This thing, in combination with my George Foreman Grill, are easily the two most essential appliances I own. Those microwaveable steamer bags are still handy to have around when I'm in a real time crunch, but it is hard to trade off the fresh vegetables.
7. All Frozen Treats Are Not Created Equal
Over the past couple of weeks, I've found myself craving ice cream more and more. After peeing on a stick, I realized that this craving was not directly linked to an impending pregnancy. Whew! That was a close one. In particular, I'm drawn to Ben & Jerry and all of their delicious creations. As I started this diet, I figured I needed something in the freezer that would help keep this craving under control without allowing me to get out of control. Enter Ben & Jerry's FroYo. I figured that the Half Baked (half brownie, half chocolate chip cookie dough) FroYo (for those of you who are uneducated in frozen food delicacies, it stands for frozen yogurt) might be the answer. With its lower calories and lower fat than the original, I thought maybe having it around would be less harmful than having the real deal. However, FroYo is not IcCre. The real deal is so rich and creamy and chocolaty and delicious. The fake stuff tastes like frozen milk. I suppose it is better this way because I'll be less tempted to sit down and eat the whole container at once, a feat that I used to perform with some regularity with the ice cream version. I know, I know, having sweets around is flirting with disaster. But if a spoonful of FroYo helps the medicine of weight loss go down, then I guess I'll keep it around.
8. The Keys to My Success
Here are a few of the products that I've found to be helpful:
- Birdseye and Green Giant Steamer Bags- They steam vegetables, pastas, rice...you name it. And they all clock in at reasonable calorie/fat numbers
- Jimmy Dean Turkey Sausage, Egg, and Cheese Breakfast Bagel- Quick, easy, and just over 200 calories. They are convenient to have on hand for both lunch and dinner.
- Almonds - I bought an enormous thing of almonds at Costco, and I keep them at my desk for when I get hungry. Just a couple of them manage to stave off any cravings and hunger that might sneak up during a busy day.
- Tyson Frozen Unbreaded Teriyaki Chicken Breasts - These chicken breasts are pre-cooked, and it takes three minutes before they are ready to go on top of my veggies/rice/tortilla/whatever.
- Papa Murphy's deLite Thin Crust Pizza - I can't not eat pizza. It is my favorite food, and if I had to choose one item to live on the rest of my life, pizza would win. Papa Murphy's deLite is really tasty and still makes me feel like I'm treating myself without going overboard.
- McDonald's Oatmeal and Fruit and Walnut Salad (snack size) - I still get lazy and want breakfast variety, and both of these items are fantastic. The Fruit and Walnut Salad comes with apples, grapes, walnuts, and a little yogurt dipping area. I have never used all the yogurt topping stuff, so I like to think I'm coming in even further under the calorie radar. The Oatmeal was a super pleasant surprise. It was loaded with apples and cranberry raisins, and it had just a slight maple/brown sugar flavor without being too heavy on calories or fat.
- Fresh Express Salad Kits - I'm eating one of these as I type. It is a full bag of salad meant as a starter for a family, but it works as a stand alone meal for me, too. Today's version has a Pear Gorgonzola Vinaigrette with Candied Almonds, and it clocks in at 260 calories. Good stuff, Maynard.
- Beer - I should probably say "the complete lack of beer". This past week was one of the first ones in a long time where we didn't end up going to happy hour, so not having those empty calories certainly helped. With that said, there's no way I'm giving up my happy hour social fun time. And no, Mom, I can't go to the happy hour, not order a beer, and still have fun. I'm still in my 20's and want to act like it the small amount that is left. Still, everything in moderation!
9. The Race was Neck and Neck!
That is, the race to find either the love of my life or a new couch on the Internet. The couch won, and it took me exactly 14 hours and 27 minutes before I bled on it. I shouldn't be allowed to have nice things. In hindsight, the other objective probably would have been more beneficial to my overall mission of a better me, but this couch really is nice and will allow me to have people come over to visit. Also, I don't have to buy it breakfast in the morning after laying on it all night. Hey-oh!
10. Heart Disease Accounts for Nearly 40% of All Deaths in the United States
So, if you haven't already and would like to, do your part and pledge your support as I try to not be another one of those statistics. 100% of the proceeds go to the American Heart Association. If you'd like to pledge, feel free to reply below or e-mail me at jeffpool81@hotmail.com. I haven't given up my dream of donating $1,500, but at my current pledge rate I need to lose 120 lbs. That's a tough row to hoe.
Disappearing before your eyes,
Jeff
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
The Challenge of "The Challenge"
I'm really excited about the progress that The Challenge has already had in the first couple of days. People seem to really like the idea, and I've received quite a bit of encouragement. The pledge drive portion of it is something I'm still going to work a little harder on, but a huge thanks goes out to those of you who have decided to help me raise money for the American Heart Association. I should have added the caveat that if I GAIN weight, I'll pay you however much you pledged per pound. That would be a Tiger Woods vs. the field kind of bet that more people would probably be interested in getting in on. My ultimate fundraising goal is $1,500, which at the rate I'm going will mean I need to lose 150 lbs. I'm pretty sure this means that I'm going to have to cut off at least one of my legs. Still, this is my challenge, so I will keep fighting until my poundage multiplied by the amount of pledgers gets me to my goal.
One of the highlights thus far has been seeing the scale drops start up again. I was a bad, bad boy last week. I don't know what it was exactly, but I was on a collision course with bodily destruction. I ate out every meal. I polished off a couple of pints of Ben & Jerry's. I even ate a large Papa Murphy's pizza on Sunday, two days after I secretly started the challenge! Fortunately for me, I didn't dig myself into too deep of a rut that I can't get back out of it. In fact, I was already down 2 lbs. this morning! I really enjoy the motivation of knowing that every glass of water, every little walk during the day, and every watched calorie equals immediate financial success. I might have even taken a $21 poop this morning! Sorry, that was gross, but the thought did cross my mind.
I am keeping in my mind that this is definitely not a sprint, but a marathon. In the past, I've set very large short term goals, like 20 lbs in a month. I've done it, but it is almost impossible to maintain. Again, I'm looking for a new lifestyle, not a quick fix. Six months doesn't seem like a long time in the grand scheme of things, but if I'm lucky I'll get a whopping 144 6-month periods in my life. I've already used 59 of those, so I'm down to just 85 more (again, if I'm lucky). I need this 60th period to be the one to prove to myself that I can keep something going for more than three months at a time. I need it to be more than just rhetoric.
Just like the last time, the food changing is going to the easiest part. I bought a rice cooker on a tip from a buddy, and I am super pumped to be able to throw in rice and then have it steam veggies and meat on the top. I'm all about ease and this seems to be about the easiest possible setup in the world. I'm still not sure how to get myself pumped up about the exercise, though. I really need to find an activity that I'll be motivated enough to participate in, like the racquetball games I had in Iowa. I've been invited to go play volleyball with friends, but the HSP in me is not super jazzed about the whole meeting new people and then promptly embarrassing myself in front of them. It is a lame excuse, I know. I think I need to start smaller, like tennis with one person, and then work my way up the ladder of people present that might make fun of me. It is the same reason I don't feel comfortable working out in gyms. I feel like everyone is watching me because they are. Don't say you haven't been on that recumbent bike or the elliptical machine and seen the person across the room that is on a machine they have no business being on. You don't think, "Boy, good for that person for having the initiative to better their health!" You're thinking, "I wonder if anyone would notice if I took out my cell phone so that I can win America's Funniest Home Videos when this guy falls off that treadmill."
I haven't played basketball since the one time I tried a couple of weeks ago. I don't have the right shoes, and I can't really afford to go buy any on this particular paycheck. I had a pair of basketball shoes that I can go pick up at the old place I lived, but I've had that pair since the early 2000's and they were getting pretty worn down. Evidently sitting in a closet will that do that shoes.
So, that's the challenge for the rest of this week: find something to do that gets me moving. Maybe I should buy a bike. That seems like a reasonable thing to do in Minnesota in the spring time. Or a dog that I could take on walks. That would be the illogical thing I've been trying to do for the last five years. Again, I just want to start small and work my way into it. I like to play myself off as this morbidly obese person that can barely get of his recliner, but in reality I'm still a somewhat athletic person. I just need the motivation to get the ball rolling again. Any suggestions from the peanut gallery?
Challenged in more than one way,
Jeff
P.S. - If you are a reader of the blog and like the concept of my challenge, I would love to hear your ideas on how I can maximize this thing. If you know of someone who might enjoy the journey, send them on over, too. If you haven't made a pledge yet but would like to, no worries. You can jump on my wagon anytime!
P.P.S. - My movie recommendation for the week is "Mary and Max". It is a stop motion animation movie from a couple of years ago that was hilarious, charming, sad, dark, and overall wonderful. It has a great cast of voice actors led by Toni Collette (the mom from "Little Miss Sunshine"), Phillip Seymour Hoffman, and Eric Bana, and it tells the tale of how a little girl in Australia finds an unlikely pen pal in a middle aged man in New York who is diagnosed with Asperger's. The animation was great, but it is definitely an adult movie. It is currently carrying an 8.2 rating on IMDB.com, which puts it on par with The Wizard of Oz, Toy Story, and Annie Hall, and slightly above Gone With the Wind, Avatar, and The Graduate (all coming in with fan votes at an average of 8.1). Check, check, check it out!
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