Wednesday, March 30, 2011

10 More Truths for a Wednesday

The whole 10 Truths bit was something I did back in the original days of the blog, and it happened to be something I reread last night and enjoyed.  Without further ado, I present 10 More Truths for this glorious sunny Wednesday.

1. I'm Still Trying to Lose Weight...Honest!
This whole thing started as a weight loss blog, but it has since become something else completely.  I know I haven't really touched on my progress all that much, but know that I'm still trying!  I stocked up at Costco a couple of weekends ago, so I'm back in the habit of bringing my lunch with me everyday and making supper at home at night most of the time.  They had some fantastic pre-cooked teriyaki chicken breasts that I've been pairing with vegetables or rice or whatever steamer bag I find.  I even had teriyaki chicken tacos.  Okay, so maybe I lean a little too heavily on that teriyaki chicken, but it takes four minutes to make and then I just have to find something that it can sit on to look like a meal.  I haven't seen drastic fluctuations in my weight, but I'm right at that 270 lb mark.  Funny sidebar: I jumped on the scale Monday morning to see what kind of damage I had done over weekend (yeah, I still suck at weekends, especially those that I spend alone).  I have the scale in my extra bathroom so that I actually have to make some effort if I want to check it daily, but the flat surfaces in the extra bathroom aren't all that huge once you get the rugs in.  So, I managed to clear off a 12" x 12" square and jumped on up.  My scale has a similar mechanism as the one on The Biggest Loser, so there is high drama as I wait for it to calculate.  I looked down and saw 262.  I was amazed!  I was ecstatic!  I went to pump my fist in the air and throw myself a high five when I realized my arm was already up...and hanging on the top of the door frame.  In my effort to maintain balance (it's not a good thing when you're too fat to stand on the scale without holding on to something for fear of tipping over) I evidently took off about 10 lbs. of pressure.  I reweighed myself (two more times, hoping to take the average), but the next two times gave me a more accurate 272.  Bummer.  I might write a new weight loss book that focuses solely on finding something to hold on to when you weight yourself.  Anyway, I'm still trying, which is evident in my stopping at McDonald's this morning and ordering a coffee and apple slices with yogurt instead of four breakfast sandwiches.

2. I'm Not Getting Enough Sleep
I've never been a super sleeper.  I wake up usually about every hour to an hour and a half.  I'm a very vivid dreamer, so even when I do sleep I don't always wake up feeling rested because I'm living a whole other life when I close my eyes (see: HSP).  For some reason this latest time change has really messed with everything, and now I'm basically not sleeping at all.  I was getting in a really good habit of being in bed by 10:30 and shutting it down around 11.  Now I'm back to being up well after midnight, or just laying in bed tossing and turning.  When the alarm goes off in the morning at 6:45, I'm just exhausted and want to roll back over because somewhere in the back of my head I know that it is still 5:45.  Last night my new neighbors upstairs decided to play some kind of music/video game that had a bass line that sounded like a beating heart.  I tried to sleep through it for two hour or so, but then I finally snapped at 2:30.  Maybe it was the old Housing Director in me, but I got out of bed, put on my jeans, and was ready to chew some butt.  Thankfully before I got too far I remembered that I don't live in the dorms anymore and can't just go pound on doors and tell people to shut it down.  I might get murdered for that now.  I heard some of the guys outside on their deck having a chat about life, so I kindly stuck my head out the door and said, "Ummmm, fellas, this is Jeff, your downstairs neighbor.  I've got to work in the morning, so would you mind turning down the bass a little."  They were super nice about it, but the damage had already been done.  I laid awake in bed for at least another hour.  When I did finally fall asleep, I lasted about an hour, and then I was awake again.  I dozed back off for about a half hour before the alarm started chirping.  I think I probably need a sleep study done, but I'm afraid it might result in me having to wear one of those mask setups.  I'm nearly 30, single, graying, and overweight.  I don't need any more strikes against me in the bedroom.  I don't drink caffeine after 2 pm, so I'm not sure what else to try.  I'd love to hear some hints.

3. A Lot of My Friends Are HSPs, Too
Also, a lot of my friends are apparently women (as per the rate of response to pretty much all of my blogs, but this one in particular).  One side note:  the book does say that women tend to skew higher, so just because you have a relatively high score after the assessment doesn't necessarily mean that you are super duper HSP.  Or maybe it does.  If you're wondering, I'd encourage you to pick up one of her books.  They are pretty quick reads, and it is at least moderately entertaining to read it and think, "Hey, that sounds just like me!" Just like horoscopes...

4. Happy Hour Makes Me Happy!
One of my dreams when I originally decided to come to Minnesota was to find other young people who did young fun things.  I loved my coworkers in Sheldon, but the very large majority of them had families and small kids and needed to go home after work to be good parents.  They were super fun and when we did get together outside of work, we always had a blast.  But I wanted more, so I left for the bright lights of the suburbs.  My new co-workers and I take full advantage of what is known as "happy hour".  Perhaps you've heard of it.  As much as I'm a shut-in, it is nice to go out once a week with like minded people and spend an hour or two talking life, business, or whatever else pops into our minds, and all for under $10.  Happy hour may have been that missing piece in my life the past couple of years.

5. Music Rocks and Rolls
- For rocking out behind the steering wheel - "Dog Days Are Over" by Florence and the Machine and "Kick Drum Heart" by Avett Brothers.  Both songs have just the right beat for me to embarrass myself at a stoplight.
- For rocking out when I wake up in the morning and get ready - The Temptations station on Pandora.  I like to slow jam my way into the morning, plus I get to do a little swoop and swirl in front of the mirror.
- For rocking out every time I wake up in the middle of the night - "Tiny Dancer" by Elton John.  I'm not sure why, but all week I've woke up singing this song. 
- For mellowing it out before bed - Anything by MoZella or Regina Spektor.  I've been preaching MoZella since I saw her at House of Blues in Vegas a couple years back.  She's amazing and is going to be huge.  I know you've heard her stuff on commercials or when you're shopping at Gap/Old Navy/Abercrombie.  Now it is time for you to hear her on your iPod.
- For every other waking second - Mumford and Sons, or Avett Brothers.  Both bands' latest CDs must be listened to in their entirety.  I am starting to get why Bon Jovi is so mad at iTunes for killing the art of the album experience.  The newest Avett Brothers CD is probably the first one ever that I learned the words to every single song.  If I don't see them in concert in the next 12 months, I'm going to explode.  Seriously, YouTube their live performances and tell me that a two hour show of that wouldn't be the greatest thing in the world.

6. I Might Be a Fashion Icon
I woke up this morning and had an epiphany in my closet.  Pieces of an outfit started glowing, begging me to pull them, assemble them, and wear the hell out of them.  Sweater vest, shirt, tie, pants.  It all made so much sense, and I wondered how I had never put the combination together.  I decided to get dressed out of eye line of a mirror so that I could see the entire ensemble all at once, kind of my own mini-fashion show (I swear I'm not gay).  I had already gelled my hair and put my glasses on, so I was going to be in my full glory.  I walked into my bathroom to see the full result, and I kid you not, I am pretty sure I heard a harp playing somewhere overhead.  I had created outfit nirvana.  I went to work confident that I might not ever look better than I did at this exact moment, thinking that I needed to take cell phone pictures of myself so that I could remember how it all went together in case I had a hot date someday.  Ladies and gentlemen, today was my day.  That is until I got to work and an older woman told me I looked "spiffy" and that she "wouldn't have guessed that those colors were supposed to go together".  I spent the rest of the day contemplating buying a hoodie from the bookstore to cover my shame.

7. My Beard Is Reaching New Heights (or Is It Widths?)
My beard is becoming pretty glorious.  I wasn't really allowed to have facial hair when I worked at NCC because I had a couple of bratty, nagging co-workers (hahaha) who made sure that I looked to their standards.  I tried a couple of times to get it off the ground, but without the proper time needed to become a majestic mane I always ended up shaving it off.  Well, that all changed when I came to Minnesota.  The beard has been in full effect since July, with only one small hiccup about two months ago when the plastic head came off my trimmer and caused me to shave a spot a little too close for my comfort, resulting in a complete beard sacrifice.  But it is back, and it hasn't even been trimmed since early February.  I also hadn't gotten a haircut since before Valentine's Day, so it was starting to get shaggier than it has been in a long time.  Major life events tend to cause me to neglect little things like that, plus I've always been a little jealous of people who didn't have Chia pet hair that mandated monthly haircuts.  Well, today I finally made it in to Great Clips, but I didn't have the foresight to trim the beard before I cut the hair.  People, this thing is out of control.  It sticks out further than the rest of my head, which is really saying something since I have an enormous melon.  I always wanted glorious facial hair, but was afraid that it was stacking the deck against me even more.  I'm 5'10", 270 lbs, bad skin, Chia pet hair....and a beard?  Seemed a bit much. With that said, Jenna loved the beard, and there's a cute girl on Match.com that I'm e-mailing back and forth with that says in her profile that she loves bearded guys, too.  So as long as there is the possibility that I might be able to get a little AND keep my beard, it stays! (Those who truly know me realize how ridiculous that last statement was.) It will probably get trimmed tonight so I don't look like some kind of lumberjack serial killer, although I'm becoming more and more convinced that's what these Minnesota girls like.  You know, someone who in an afternoon can clear a forest and put Steve Buscemi in a wood chipper.

8. I'm Trying Online Dating Again
I've mentioned this in passing a couple of times, but I officially decided to reactivate the Match.com account.  Online dating is perfect for me because it allows me to start forming an emotional connection that helps me overcome my physical hesitations.  The whole process is a little weird, and I realized as I was shopping for couches online that the two were virtually one in the same.  Still, if I can find the love of my life and buy a sectional all from the comfort of my recliner, I've got to take advantage of the opportunity.  I've got so much more to say about online dating, but I think I'll make that its own entry in the near future.

9. Google Might Take Over the World (So Just Enjoy the Ride)
I've officially given in and Google-ized my life.  I opened a G-Mail account.  My blog is housed on a Google site.  I signed up for Google Talk and Google Docs, and even have a Google telephone number that makes voicemails into texts.  I plan on buying an Android phone in the near future so that I can Google whenever I want.  Instead of using Internet Explorer or Firefox, I've switched to Google Chrome (a highly recommended move) on my home and work computers.  I can also use Google's handy dandy tools to measure the success of my blog.  This is what I know:
-By the end of today, this blog will have been viewed 2,500 times since I first created it.
-The blog is usually accessed via Facebook, but has also been accessed by Google Russia, Google UK, Yandex (a Russian search engine), and through various e-mail accounts.  Thanks for sharing!
-The blog has been accessed more than once by people in the US, Canada, UK, Germany, Russia, Ecuador, India, Australia, Singapore, Netherlands, Spain, China, Slovenia, Greece, and Turkey.
- Most of those folks probably stumbled on to the blog when they searched for the keywords "male nudity" (from the title of an entry that featured my belly).
- Other keyword searches that have lead people to my blog are "feed bin with stand 270lbs", "malenudity on doctor", "I feel like when", "bald head template", "the bad because i m", and "mike golic what happened to his nutri-system diet he is now fat". 

10. The World Might Be Coming to an End
...because my 81-year young grandma officially Friend Requested me on Facebook last night.  And followed it up with a Wall Post.  And is probably reading my blog.  You want the truth?  I'm not sure you (or I) can handle the truth!

Holla at you, Slovenia,
Jeff

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