Stop Tugging on Superman's Cape!

If you give me a computer to sit at, I am the eternal optimist at the keyboard.  I can do this!  I'm confident!  Read my words and hear my message!  Anyone that knows me in real life knows that this confidence has its limits and that there are weeks where it is almost non-existent.  I like to think that I strive in the moment and I'm able to handle life's situations as they come at me, but sometimes all those little things start to add up and the system breaks down.  I'm hoping today isn't one of those days.  Let me give you a quick glance into my Friday morning thus far.

1.  Woke up and had bit my cheek in the middle of the night.  Now that it is swollen I will continue to bite it for the remainder of the day.  My body is so upset with this diet that it is revolting with night time cannibalism.
2.  Ate a delicious turkey sausage muffin sandwich for breakfast (low in calories and fat, SUPER high in sodium) and got some of that sandwich stuck in my back tooth to a point where no floss can get at it.  My body is so upset with this diet that it is trying to store food in my gums in case of an emergency.
3.  Cleaned the smudges off my glasses as I was driving to work and snapped the entire nose guard off of one side so that my glasses now sit funny on my face and keep sliding down (as if they don't do this enough the way it is).  My body is so upset with this diet that it is giving me super human strength to break my glasses with, which then results in me not being able to see, which causes me to have to remain in one place to avoid injury, thus conserving precious calories and body fat.
4.  I stopped to fill my car up with gas and stepped in a large puddle of gas that the person before me kindly left on the pavement.  Of course I had a hard time noticing it seeing as how my glasses were broken on the front seat of my car, which, by the way, was super dry and full of static.  My body is so upset with this diet that it is trying to start me on fire.
5.  In my effort to pump gas and not burst into flames, I somehow missed that the credit card connection was currently down and that the nice people at Super America were only accepting cash.  I don't carry cash.  Also, the ATM was broken.  Luckily the nice lady inside allowed me to write a check, even though that wasn't their policy, but only after I begged, provided four forms of ID, and did a soft shoe for her in the middle of the store.  My body is so upset with this diet that it is embarrassing me in front of the help.

My first thought was that the Health Gods were punishing me for not eating my apple yesterday and sneaking a Caramel Apple sucker while I was playing video games instead.  Clearly this was the only rational explanation for how everything could be going wrong at once.  Thankfully today is one of my good days.  Instead of getting down, I shook it off.  Maybe it was Jack Johnson filling my ears with calm or the strong cup of Sumatra filling my belly.  Maybe it was thinking about the funny idea for a Christmas gift that Jenna and I had been working on and how much I was looking forward to seeing her next week.  Who knows. What I do know is that in the past I would have stopped at McDonald's to get a large vanilla iced coffee and two breakfast burritos.  Today I didn't.  It isn't much, and I can't promise that if the same series of events happens next Friday that I won't make that unnecessary pit stop.  But today I didn't.  No, today I'll sit here chewing on my cheek with a tooth that is filled with turkey sausage while tilting my head to look at my computer through lopsided glasses, all the while enjoying the sweet, sweet smell of paid-for-in-cash gasoline that might just cause me to spontaneously combust.  If this ain't livin'...

Stoppin', droppin', and rollin' to a better me,

Jeff